For the first time in her life, I don't know where my daughter is.  I've always been secure in the fact that I could call or text her. I could keep up with where she was going, what she was doing, if she was ok.  Now she's at Basic Training and I don't even know what company she is in. It's ripping me apart. 

I've been waiting since Saturday for a phone call telling me that she's arrived, she's safe, an address, anything really. I've already been through this whole BCT thing with my husband but it was different. This is my child, my youngest, my only girl.  I just want to know she is safe. 

The FB page for them keeps posting videos and I keep scouring the frames just trying to get a glimpse of her.  it's to blurry and they are all in camo, so they blend together.  It's frustrating, I just want to scream!  I know it's ridiculous, she's safe, they will take care of her but I need to have that little bit of contact, that little address to mail to so that I can have 1 small tether to the beautiful child I love so dearly.

God, I hope she calls soon because I'm starting to loose it.

She's Beautiful, she's amazing and she's my baby! 

She called me today, excited and talking 100mph, she leaves to start actual training tomorrow. For her the world is just opening up, a brand new place to explore and a chance to find out who she is.  For me, it's so bitter sweet.  I cry daily, sometimes several times a day. Everything I see reminds me of her and I can't just pick up the phone to call and chat.  I'm use to the barrage of text messages, the phone calls, the mommy do's.  I miss her so much my heart hurts and yet I am soooo proud of this beautiful child, this young woman.  

She is smart, funny, and has such a razor whit. I sit and listen as she cleans walls, talks to the other girls in her bay and talks to me too.  As you can imagine it's chaos, but I love it.  She tells me of the day to day stuff they have to do.  Of the girl who thinks she knows everything just because her husband is active duty.  She misses me, her dad and her boyfriend...pretty sure she's not up to missing her brother yet.  Most of all, she complains about her feet hurting and that her cap is to small.  I just want to hug her.

So, today I decided to make a scrapbook for her, some old photos along with some new ones. These will be included.  I found myself on Snapfish looking at the almost 200 photos I want to print and just bawling like a baby.  I don't know how to just get on with life without her day to day presence, but I do.  I'm proud of the woman that she is becoming and I'm proud to call her my baby girl.

 

She called me today, laughing and joking in the morning, sad and crying in the evening. I sit here helpless, unable to do the one thing I've always done, run to her rescue.

My beautiful spirited daughter left for the Army today and it is breaking my heart. All I've done is wander the house, lay in her bed and look at photos. I think I'm ok, then I'll see something that reminds me of her and a little part of me dies inside knowing that she won't be home tomorrow. She is my burning flame, not just a small light in this world but a bright and shining star.  She is amazing and I'm proud to call her my daughter.  I miss her already. 

Just me and the dogs...and the cats.

At 42 I look back and wonder why I was always so neurotic about everything.  My husband is in the Army and leaves for the dessert within the next two months. My Son has epilepsy and has struggled through various medications over the last 6yrs & had brain surgery. My daughter is 18 and is at the military station ironing out the conditions of her Army contract.  I'm sitting at home by myself, just me and the dogs and for once I'm OK.
Usually I'm freaking out over something but for today I'm good.

Mamma's got a brand new bag

I've been working on this for about a week now. It's 1am here and I can't sleep so I'm listening to easy listening station on Pandora and crocheting my new bag.

Update: my daughter says it's the ugliest thing she's ever seen. Hmmmmmmm OK so I'm not overly fond of it myself, it was mainly a trying it out kind of project anyway. I think I'll just simply remove the yellow and switch back to red for the top and handles.

There are just some things I'm determined to learn so that I can have them.  One of these things is this. How freakin awesome is this?  I really have to figure out how to knit it and make it happen.
On another note, I finished my daughters scarf and I'm working on my first needle knitted scarf.  I have my crochet case base done but I'm having issues with the Icords, I think I'll have to make them and sew them in.  I also have all the pieces to my slippers created but have to actually put them together. That is difficult because it makes my hands hurt.
Oh well, off to make ball saks (those would be small crocheted bags to put my balls of yarn in.